Aisha is getting more independent everyday. That sounds good and bad. The good part is that I don't have to be near her always. she has found he own ways to keep her happy and busy. The bad part is I have to be alert always. One moment of carelessness and she might have mouthed something, grabbed the knife from the shelf, slipped out to the garden or anything. The list is always endless.
Aisha can now climb the stairs all by herself. She can reach the first floor of our villa in no time. I don't have to carry her upstairs now, but I have to make sure she doesn't climb the stairs without adult supervision. Hubby and my in-laws often advise me to keep her away from the stairs. But my theory is to allow the kids to do what ever they want. They should learn it. They will slip and fall, but that is how life is. Can we learn to climb a tree without falling from it? I want Aisha to learn to take the risks in her life.
There is a great difference in the way that I was brought up and hubby was brought up. My parents are muslims and very religious. But they are never strict beyond a limit. I travel alone, take decisions myself. My parents have taught me to be independent. But that is not the case in my hubby's home. Even though not as religious as my parents, my in-laws are strict and usually don't allow their children to take the risks. Hubby calls it 'more caring and more protective'. So, with Aisha too they are more protective. They are very careful and don't want her to fall down and get bruises. They never allow her to climb the cots, window panes or the stairs.
When Aisha is with me, I allow her to do anything, and she falls often. She cries for a couple of minutes, stops and then resumes her duty. I allow her to climb down to the garden, pick the pebbles and throw them. I allow her to pluck the grass, explore the thorny rose (Alhamdulillah, the thorns never pricked her), catch the dragonfly and chase the butterflies. The other day, when exploring the garden, I found a snake slithering among the fallen leaves. As I'm not that brave to allow Aisha to watch the snake, I took her indoors quickly.
How do you bring up your child? Do you allow them to take the risk or are you protective about them? I would like to get some advice on this.
Some snaps of Aisha.
 |
| Adorning herself with her granny's necklace. |
 |
| Pick it up, and throw it inside the house. |
 |
| Behind locked bars, staring at the world beyond our compound. |
 |
| Feeling the soft petals. |
3 comments :
I'm like you. Nora has fallen down so many times and her knees always seem to have a bruise or too. She just cries for a bit and then carries on. She has no fear. She will try to climb to the highest climbing frame in the playground and I try to help her and follow her but I let her try.
My inlaws also don't like her to do anything and almost wrap her in cotton wool!
I agree with your philosophy. My mother (who raised 8 children) used to say, "What doesn't kill, fattens." Taking risks, failing, trying again, succeeding -- this is how we learn.
Aisha will inevitably be pricked by a thorn (or some such accident). You will be there with comfort and the message that it's not the end of the world. She can pick up and go on. That's a powerful life lesson.
It is important to watch children, but sometimes it is better to watch from a distance.
Don't worry much about her.Your angel is growing up.:)
May Allah bless her ,amen.
Post a Comment